Free assessment
The Silence Check™
Does his silence activate your attachment system?
Answer thinking about the last time he went quiet — a reply that took hours, a day of silence, a disappearance. Not about how you wish you had reacted, but about what you actually felt and did.
01When he takes a long time to reply, my body reacts — tight chest, racing heart, restlessness.
02His silence makes my mind search for explanations — and they are usually the worst ones.
03I find it hard to concentrate on anything else until he replies.
04A delayed reply can change my mood for the whole day.
05Not knowing what he is feeling is physically uncomfortable for me.
06I check when he was last online.
07I look at his social media to see whether he posted something or watched my stories.
08I reread our conversations looking for signs that something changed.
09I write messages and delete them before sending.
10The longer the silence, the more I feel I have to do something.
11When he finally replies, the relief I feel is out of proportion to what he actually wrote.
12I sometimes send messages mainly to stop the anxiety I am feeling.
13If he doesn't answer my first message, I usually send another.
14After I send the message, the anxiety often comes back quickly — until the next reply.
15I find it difficult to wait until I am calm before deciding whether to send a message.
This is a psychoeducational self-reflection tool — not a diagnosis, and not therapy. It measures how your system responds to silence; it does not measure how much you love him, and it cannot tell you what he feels.